On Her Own
by Criminal-Dawn
Summary: Nell's history comes to the surface when a man from her past resurfaces. The team needs to find her before its too late.
1. Chapter 1

**I love love Nallen. Yes. Nell and Callen. Which shouldn't it be Nellen? Anyways… I digress… The forced Paris/Callen… No. Just no. So I thought I'd write this. It is the arc from Criminal Minds, where they write off Prentiss. I do not own anything that of Criminal Minds or NCIS LA. I hope you enjoy this.**

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As Nell walked up to her apartment door she kept thinking about the snippets of interactions she caught between Callen and the Red teams leader Paris. The feeling in her stomach every time she saw them was a painful reminder that she was delusional for liking someone like Callen. Her thoughts were cut short by a purple rectangular box leaning against her door. Gifts always brought a smile to her face but this time it didn't seeing how down she felt. She wondered if it was her family sending this to her or maybe Eric. She doubted Eric would be sending anything to her after he saw the jealousy in her eyes when Hetty said that she hoped Callen found a partner in life with Paris. So she leaned down and picked the box up and carried it inside. Placing it on the table near the entrance she took off her coat and dropped her purse at her feet. Opening the box she saw a bouquet of purple lilac Freesia's she loved so much in his old villa in Tuscany. His memory, his scent, his love, her deception hit her like a train wreck. She took out the small card simply stated _See you soon… Lauren_. In his perfect penmanship. She didn't know what to do. She knew she should tell Hetty and the team but she couldn't bring them in to this, it wasn't their fight to partake in. It was personal to him, his flowers said so. She took in a deep breath and bent down to take out her gun from her purse and went around making sure the locks on the windows were secure, and that no one was in the apartment. Once she was sure she was safe she fell onto her knees and cried. This wasn't supposed to happen to her not after he was locked away in a prison overseas. Ian Doyle was not supposed to come back into her life after he threw it apart.

_She was always praised for her brains, graduating high school at 16 then finishing college with a double major in 3 short years; she knew she could be an asset to the country so she enlisted into the academy for the FBI, and in one short year she was recruited by Interpol to work. She was 20 years old, she was terrified of the opportunity but honored to be singled out that way. It was a top secret mission to take down an IRA terrorist and she was selected to go in undercover. Her trainer at the academy spoke highly of her to his superiors and her IQ and performance scores surpassed anyone in her class. But undercover work was not something you could study in a book but according to the JTF-12 leader, Clyde Easter, she would be a natural for the work they would have her do. She had to go in as Lauren Reynolds, a rebellious daughter of an army general. She stole intel along with weapons from her father after he married a woman who was close to her age so she was hiding out in Ireland with help from her boyfriend who was part of a drug cartel with ties in Russia. Ireland was chosen because that was where Ian Doyle, their target, was last seen. She was supposed to go in and stay in a hotel that was owned by Irish mob and infiltrate her way in. 5 months in Jack Fahey, "the man" as he was referred to around the hotel and bar began to acquaintance himself with her. _

"_You know Lauren, you don't go out at all. You work for ma here, then go up to your room. You should come out to dinner with us tonight. I'll even buy," he told her with his signature toothpick in his mouth. This was her in but she didn't want to seem too eager so she declined but soon asked her again and by the 4__th__ time she agreed; which was the same night she first met Ian. He was charismatic and as soon as he walked into the private room women's head's turned and the men rose to shake his hand. He was an enigma that could not be contained and one look into his blue eyes she was captivated and she knew undercover work was not for her. That night they casted glances at each other, she would look away coyly and she felt herself blush. He didn't initiate contact then but the 3__rd__ night they were all out he approached her. _

She was called out of memory lane by her phone ringing but she let it go straight to voice mail. She couldn't fake a conversation right now, and she thought it would be Eric or her parents once again. She was surprised when Ian's voice came in through the speaker. "Lauren … meet me at the park across the street. I'll take my coffee black sweetheart… don't keep me waiting." Her breath hitched and she stood from her knelt position and went to boil water for the coffee. She couldn't believe he was really here and she knew that he wasn't here to see how she was. She could have called Kensi in that moment, instead she chose to do this on her own. If he knew she called her team, she was sure he would kill them. So she poured two cups of coffee and walked out of her apartment without her purse, without her coat and hoped he would kill her swiftly to get this over with.

The wait is a long one, forty-five minutes that dragged on and on. I kept expecting a shot through the head. What a gruesome sight for her team mates to show up to tomorrow morning. She didn't have enough time to ponder what their reactions would have been since she feels a hand on her shoulder giving her a tight squeeze, "Hello Lauren," he said as he took a seat before her. She kept on a mask of indifference, not giving him the satisfaction of knowing he was getting under her skin. "Wait… Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident but Nell Jones doesn't fit you. Too innocent after everything you've done to ruin my life," he snarls out as he takes his cup from her side of the table and drinks it. She takes in a deep breath and looks away from him onto the lights of the city. Cars kept driving by, a couple walked by them and a young woman was running with her dog. _Normalcy_. What she craved after the time she spent undercover. Yet it was denied because of the man who came back into her life to haunt her.

"So then kill me," she sighed as she met his steel blue eyes.

"That would be too easy Nell… No… you need to pay for what you did properly," he tells her as he regained his cool composure. The eerie silence that falls between them makes her want to vomit with anticipation. "Tell me Nell… does the lovely Kensi know the truth about you?" he started causing her to look up at him once more. "Or is she too busy going out with Marty to care? Here you are all alone as Callen and Sam are off on some mission with the lovely Paris to worry about you. Maybe you should have taken Eric up on that date or perhaps dinner with Henrietta Lange. That woman sure is a legend is she not?" he taunted causing her breathing to grow shallow.

"This isn't about them… You want me. Well here I am" she plead.

"Not today … don't worry about that. Tomorrow night I want you to go to where you killed my son. If you don't show I will kill every single member of your team and move on to every single member of your family," he stood and came to kneel before her. "You took the only thing that mattered to me now I'm going to take the only thing that matters to you. Your life."

Hearing his footsteps walk away from her left her holding her breath. She stayed there another thirty minutes then stood and walked to her apartment. She knew she couldn't go in to work tomorrow so she packed a bag with her essentials and grabbed the cash she kept in her safe. She took apart her cell phone and unplugged her land line. She went to deactivate her emails and tried to keep things together. She couldn't afford to fall apart right now. She left her apartment with a bag, her old cell phone and her gun, from the corner store she called a taxi and made her way to the nearest hotel to the warehouse where she "killed" the six year old little boy.

**Song lyrics from Lana Del Rey- National Anthem**

**Please leave constructive criticism for me to let me know how you like this story and if I should continue it. Next chapter will be Callen's POV which is something I am dreading since I have never attempted his POV. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again I don't own the story line from Criminal Minds or the characters from NCIS: LA.**

**Enjoy!**

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The case was closed. He and Sam should be home yet Hetty called the team in and it seemed urgent. So the two partners walked in together, too tired to make small talk. He dropped his bag at his desk and walked up the stairs with Sam behind him. Once they entered ops he noticed that they were all there but Nell. He couldn't deny the guilt he felt for pushing her away by using Paris, flirting with the Red teams leader was effortless because there was no feelings, yet when he was around their technical analyst he felt flustered. Of course he couldn't do anything of it for many reasons but mainly because he didn't think she felt the same. Then the flicker of jealousy he saw in her eyes the few times she was on video conference told him otherwise but he rather not dwell on that.

"Ian Doyle vanished from prison, Interpol can't find him," Eric recited with worry etched in his voice as he kept looking over to Hetty and brought up a picture of the said man up to the screen. An older man, almost bald with blue eyes came up. Irish native and former IRA.

"He's a former IRA terrorist, went by Valhalla," Callen interjected as he crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the table. "A team of Interpol agents captured him four years ago after a four year long under cover stint. It was highly classified, no one knew who the team was who took him down. He had illegal activities that garnered attention from every agency," at this point everyone stood straight knowing that if this man escaped he would be out for blood.

"He was imprisoned in various prisons but escaped from Camp 22, a North Korean political prison for his crimes. Since his vanishing act he's been busy. He killed three of the five members who compromised the team that took him down along with his handlers back in North Korea. The remaining members of the JTF-12, the code name for the team, are alive but haven't been accounted for," Eric finished.

"Who are the remaining members?" Kensi asked.

Eric brought up two pictures, one of a British man who was Clyde Easter and the second one which surprised the entire team was that of Nell Jones, she looked younger in the picture. Everyone was quite until Deeks let out a few cackles then full on laughter. "No… seriously. What is this? April Fools? There is no way our Nell Bell went undercover at what? 18?" he asked in disbelief. Callen felt his heart rate pick up. Hetty wouldn't use so many resources on a joke and the stern look on her face showed how serious she was.

"Actually she went in at 19. It was well known that Doyle enjoyed younger women and she matched his type. Miss Jones was recruited right out of the academy not only for her high IQ but for her high scores. A team went over to her place this morning and found a bouquet of flowers and a note stating _See you soon Lauren_. Lauren Reynolds was her alias and it seems he has contacted her and if she went to take him down on her own…" Hetty's silence spoke louder than words.

"Why didn't we know of her past?" Callen demanded worry and anger intermingled in his tone as Kensi stepped out of the room with her cell phone in hand. He knew she was going to try to call her but if he knew Nell she would try to keep them at bay but he wouldn't let her. He was going to make sure they found her before she handed herself over to Doyle.

Hetty's only response was, "we need to find her Mr. Callen."

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Nell paced back and forth in the room she checked into the night prior. She had to wait until nightfall to go to the warehouse. It was 3pm now and although she should go in now and just get things over with she couldn't muster the courage to do so. She was more terrified now then she was what she thought Doyle and his men made her.

"_Look Fahey, I can't stay in one place for long. Just give me someone who will buy these useless things so I can get enough cash to get out of here," she begged the man as he looked over the weapons she had stacked in a boat storage. _

"_How did you get these?" he asked. _

_She bit her lower lip and shook her head "You've been too good to me, you and your family. I can't drag you into this," she whispered but the plan was to drag them in all along. _

"_I can't help you unless you tell me Lauren," he told her as she saw the greed in his eyes. _

"_My father … he's an army general. A few months ago he married a whore who was close to my age! MY AGE! And I couldn't just stick around and I wanted to hurt him for disgracing my mother's memory. For making a fool of us so I did something I shouldn't have done but I don't regret it. I'm sure he's killing himself trying to find me and the other day I think I saw one of his old friends out by the ship yard. I'm scared Fahey… I can't let him find me. I'll be sent to prison back in the states or he'll kill me for doing this to him. I just… I can't stay here," she tried dramatically. _

"_Why haven't you told Ian. Aren't you two a thing?" he asked as he placed a hand in her slender shoulder. She looked at him weary with a blush to her cheeks. _

"_He's a good man… I shouldn't involve him or you. I'm sorry I asked," she said as she closed the storage door. _

"_I'm not a good man," came from behind her. When she turned and Ian stood there in his impeccable suit and charming smile her heart jumped to her throat. She didn't know what to do. What if they figured her out? He could be here to kill her for all she knew. She couldn't act differently around him now so she ran to him with tears streaming down her face. _

"_Oh Ian… I don't know what to do," she sobbed into his chest as his arms wrapped around her._

"_I'll take care of everything Lauren, I'll sell those weapons you have there and we'll go away," he reassured her and her fear dissipated. Three short months in and Ian professed his love for her and if she was honest this cover was too easy to play. Being in love with a man who catered to her, sent her flowers every day, called her beautiful and went beyond everything she ever dreamed of. _

"_I can't ask that of you, I love you too much to put you in danger," she said as she looked up at him. _

"_There's so much you don't know about me Lauren," he told her as he pulled her to his side. At the same moment Fahey received a call. She knew it was the men that were supposedly looking for her. At this point they must have been at the hotel showing her picture around. The man on the phone kept his gaze on her and she saw worry there that made her feel a tinge of guilt. Once he hung up the call he ran his fingers in his hair. _

"_They were showing your picture around the hotel, thank God ma said she hadn't seen you so they left. You may have to move her sooner sir," he said moving her plan along perfectly. She knew if they moved he would distribute the weapons effectively catching the men he was associated with and the trust after this mission will garner her more information. She buried her face in his side and let out a chocked sob. _

"_I am so sorry… I shouldn't have done that and none of you would be in this mess," she said as she tightened her hold on Ian. Although she knew she wasn't in danger she felt safe in his arms. She couldn't wait until this op was over so she could go home where things were black and white and she didn't have to fight with herself. _

"_If you wouldn't have I wouldn't have you in my life Lauren and I'm never letting you go sweetheart," he told her earnestly. _

She was called out of her memory by the ringing of her phone as Kensi showed up on the screen. Why would she still have this number she wondered. Of course they're agents, they will exhaust every angle. She didn't answer of course, she couldn't but when the signal for a new voice mail appeared she listened to it.

"Hey it's me, this was your number when you first started so it's a long shot but at this point we're pulling straws. What were you thinking? That we'd just let you walk away? I'm furious at you right now," the woman she considered her friend said causing the tears she was holding back to stream down her face as she sat at the edge of the bed. "Then I think about how scared you must be but you're not alone you hear me? We're coming for you Nell … just fight until we get there." At the end of it Nell was broken. She couldn't do this who was she kidding? She was walking into her death so that Ian wouldn't kill them. So he wouldn't take away those who mattered to her. She had to protect Declan from his own father by all means necessary. So at 5:15 pm she walked out of the hotel room and made her way to the warehouse to face him and keep Declan hidden like she intended to do when she sent those pictures.


	3. Chapter 3

The silence in ops was deafening, the only noise that could be heard was the pacing of every agent in the room.

"Why run? We're her family. We can help," Deeks said as Kensi stepped back in wiping away tears from her cheeks going over to stand next to her partner.

"Doyle is killing those who put him away and she was a big part of that mission. And it seems like he saved her for last. She ran to protect us," Callen said dejectedly as he stared at the picture of Ian Doyle. There was a lot he didn't know about Nell, but this … he would never have guess this would be something that could be in her life. "Alright Eric, pull up his file and the profile Nell's team worked up. We can't let this keep us from tracking him down. Obviously this was personal to Doyle. It went from business to intimacy so he feels betrayed and after four years I'm sure all that has built up. Where did they meet?" he called out orders.

Before anyone could respond the ding of the sliding doors called everyone's attention as an older man who they had a picture of up on the screen alongside Nell showed up. "Where is she?" he demanded in an accent clearly European.

"Clyde, we were hoping you could help us determine that," Hetty spoke as he came in and stood before the screen staring at the image of Doyle. He slammed his fists into the table and turned to look at the team. "This can be taken by Interpol, your team has no need to worry about this."

Before Callen could object Hetty did so for him. "Over my dead body, that young woman is like a daughter to me. We are going to find her with or without your help," Hetty said as they all came to stand beside and behind her.

"She was always stubborn," Clyde said as his shoulders slumped forward looking in the direction of Nell's photograph.

"She still is," Eric interjected hoping they would find her in time.

"Ian Doyle met Lauren Reynolds, Nell's alias in Ireland. Her alias was a runaway with weapons she stole from her father. We sent in men a few months in looking for her as part of the cover. Ian moved her away to his villa in Italy after he killed the men we sent for her. She had valuable information on him that put away other IRA members and we wanted to get as much as we could from him. But their relationship didn't start as business Mr. Callen. She was sent in to seduce him and have him sell those weapons for her, which in turn gave us some of his contacts. She was always under our surveillance while under his home but we needed to keep her there to see what we could get on him in order to break him," the man had the room and as he turned to look at all of them he saw shocked faces. "Which she did. Doyle has a son who no one knew was his. Declan was under Louise's, Doyle's maid's, care. She was his pseudo mother so that no one would use the child against him. I don't know exactly how it happened but he revealed this to Lauren while she was with him. Once the North Koreans had him he wouldn't talk so Interpol sent back the profile we set and demanded more information. Nell knew if we didn't tell them they would find out eventually so she put Declan into it only she had a different idea. She knew if we gave them the kid … the things they would do to him to get Doyle to talk… So Nell implored me to make sure he never had to suffer. She got Louise and Declan out once they arrested Doyle and set up a life for them but this time around we had to make sure everyone thought the kid and Louise were assassinated. We staged their death and sent in these pictures to them. Nell used every connection she had to relocate the kid and the maid after that. They're actually here in L.A. where she could keep an eye on him. Doyle's controlling, vengeful. If anything he'd take her to the warehouse where we supposedly killed Declan. It's about a 30 minute drive from here," the man finished. Hetty seemed to trust this man and that was all Callen needed to know. Nell did so much for that little boy and he wondered how invested she had been in this mission. Jealousy, such a foreign concept to him, burned in his gut at the thought of his Nell in another's bed. He had no right to feel this way and once they saved her he would stop running from whatever this was that he knew they shared. They danced around each other far enough and it took something drastic to make him realize it.

"20 if Kensi drives," Deeks quipped as they all went downstairs to get vests on, rifles and necessary equipment.

**5:30 pm **

Nell walked over to the warehouse and noticed the two men at the door keeping watch. After seeing the many deaths at Ian's hand there was no way she could withstand the deaths of her current team. Tsia, Sean and Jeremy had all been those who kept her grounded and not they were all dead. She couldn't let that happen to Callen, Hetty, Kensi, Deeks, Eric or Sam. So she walked up to the door and the man roughly grabbed her arm and dragged her in. He slammed her against the wall causing a split lip and a gash on her forehead as he tossed her over into familiar arms. Her hands were then handcuffed in front of her as she looked up to meet the blue eyes of Ian Doyle. Pushing her deeper into the building he pushed her into the room by a fistful of her short hair.

"I didn't tell anyone about Declan until you and you put him in your profile so they could use him against me! THEY KILLED HIM BECAUSE OF YOU!" he screamed in her ear making her flinch as he tossed her against the wall making her shoulder sting with the impact. "They showed me these," he said as he tossed pictures at her feet of the blond boy and his maid. A shot to each of their temples and they were presumably dead. "They laughed as I wept."

He backhanded her once she began to stand and the pain that radiated from her cheek was felt in every fiber of her body. He once again picked her up by her hair making her cry out in pain. "YOU KILLED THE ONLY PERSON I EVER LOVED!" he growled as he kneed her in her abdomen making her kneel over in pain then he kicked her when she was down extracting a cry from her lips once more.

"Do you want to know what Declan's last words to me were?" she wheezed as he came to her side and picked her up once more and tosses her into the wall causing a gash to her forehead. "I make a good dead kid don't I?" she knew she was stalling and she should just accept her fate but Kensi's words played in her mind over and over. Fight. She just couldn't give up. "Then I got him on a plane and haven't seen him since," she sobbed.

"LIES!" he screamed as he kicked her down once more knocking the wind out of her.

"I gave him the one thing you could never give… A life!" she said as she saw the pain in his eyes.

"Where is he Nell," he demanded. Her instincts kicked in and she kicked him in his family jewels and when he was bent over in agony she kneed him in the nose.

"He deserved a life away from you!" she cried as he sent her flying into a table breaking it. Adrenaline kicked in because she wasn't down instead a struggle ensued and she grabbed a wooden leg and when she had him on his back she began to hit his face repeatedly with it. She may be small but she kept him down. Suddenly shots rang out behind her and she lost grip of the wooden leg. Ian took hold of it and grabbed it piercing her side with it making her cry out once more. She fell to the ground on her knees as Ian stood up and grabbed her by her throat.

"Where is he. WHERE IS MY SON!" he plead but before he could say anything else a shot hit him in the back of the head causing him to fall next to her side after his blood splattered onto her. She couldn't answer him even if she wanted to since she was struggling for gasps of air. She fell onto her back and felt blood trickle up her throat.

"Nell!" she heard Kensi's cry but it was Callen's face she saw when she managed to look up. His blue eyes that reminded her at times of Ian were now her saving hope.

"We need a medic Eric," she heard Marty call out as she felt Callen grab her hands.

"Hey it's me. I'm right here; you're going to be alright," she heard Callen vaguely. She closed her eyes but Callen's insistent "stay with me Nell stay with me" made her open her hazel eyes up at him.

"I didn't" she wheezed out "mean for this to happen," she managed to get out with tears streaming down her face.

"It's ok... Listen to me Nell, you're going to be okay you got that?" he screamed but at this point she gave up as the black hole was beginning to take her. She closed her eyes but faintly heard his words. "I know why you did all this… I know what you did for Declan. I'm so proud of you," he said with anguish in his voice. "NELL! STAY WITH ME!" he cried out.

"I'm sorry," she managed before she didn't hear his voice any more.

Cliffhanger. Don't hate me too much. For those of you who have seen Criminal Minds … well you know how it ends don't you? Enjoy! Leave me a review


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